Pangarap at Pangako

Simple lang naman ang mga pangarap ko sa buhay.

Maging isang lisensiyadong inhinyero.
Magkaroon ng sariling bahay at lupa.
Magkaroon ng sasakyan na gagamitin sa pang-araw-araw na lakad.
Mapag-aral ang bunso naming kapatid.
Mapagtapos ng medisina ang ikatlo kong kapatid.
Magkaroon ng trabahong marangal at maipagmamalaki.
Magkaroon ng pagkakataong makatulong sa iba, gamit ang mga biyayang pinagkaloob sa akin.
Magkaroon ng pagkakataong maibahagi sa iba ang kaalamang natamo ko sa karanasan at kaisipan.
Mabigyan ng maginhawang buhay ang aking mga magulang.

Sa unang tingin, simple lang talaga ang mga bagay na ito, subalit may kaakibat itong napakalaking responsibilidad. Dahil bawat isa sa mga ito ay nangangahulugan ng kasiyahan ko sa buhay.

Hindi madali sa karamihan sa atin na hanapin ang kaligayahan sa buhay, dahil marami ang hindi makuntento sa kung ano ang mayroon sila. At marami rin ang mga tao na hindi alam kung anong bagay ba talaga ang makapagpapasaya sa kanila. Kung sa mga bagay na ito ay wala tayong kasiguraduhan, ay tiyak na hindi natin mararating ang ating hinihiling na kasiyahan.

Sana sa pagkakataong ito, ay makamit ko na ang pre-requisite ng mga pangarap ko. Kailangang makatapos muna ako, bago ako maging masaya. At dahil dito, ibibigay ko na ang lahat ng dapat ibigay para sa aking pag-aaral. Hindi ko na dapat ipasawalang-bahala ang aking kasiyahan, sapagkat kung hindi ko makamit ang isa rito, hindi ako magiging masaya.

Hindi ko alam kung anong naghihintay sa akin pagkatapos kong banggitin ang mga salitang ito, pero... sa pagkakataong ito, kailangang magsakripisyo ako ng ilang bagay upang makamit ko ang mga bagay na ito. At ang first step.

Hindi muna ako magkakagirlfriend. Lahat ng babae ay kailangang maging mesa,armchair, sofa o kaya naman ay kahit anong kasangkapan na hindi makakadistract sa akin sa pagtahak sa lugar na nais kong tahakin. Pero mukhang kailangan kong irephrase ang first step, dahil wala namang may interes sakin na maging boyfriend nila, kaya naman... Hindi na lang muna ako magmamahal ng higit sa pagiging kaibigan.

Good for 5 years ang vow ko. Para rin akong nag-engineering. Dahil alam ko naman na para rin to sa sarili kong kasiyahan. Ito ang paraan ko ng pagselyo sa mga kailangan kong maabot na pangarap.

Good luck and God speed. I'll be 25 then.

A Question of Maturity

In about 25 days, I will be celebrating my 21st birthday. Di ko alam kung maeexcite ba ako o ano, pero sa tingin ko naman, my birthday would turn out just fine. I am really looking forward to the gifts that I would receive. Pero siyempre, hindi lang material gifts ang hangad ko. Marami pa, at hindi human benefactor ang gusto kong magbigay sa'kin ng gift, kundi si God.

Yeah, it may be too much, pero what is wrong about looking forward about God's gift on my birthday? I just hope na I could learn something from what He will give me. Pero ayoko na ring isipin yun at baka maging spoiler pa. So I'll just leave it to Him, about the gift.

The first 2 paragraphs are just "papansin" lines na gusto kong sabihin kasi yun nga, malapit na ang birthday ko. But really, I just want to ask people on what they do when they reach the age of 21. Di ba debut ng mga lalaki yun, kung ang babae sa 18, di ba kami 21? And that is the point here, when guys reach 21, are they really mature enough?

Meron akong isang kaibigan, 21 na siya, pero parang hindi ko alam kung may pagka-immature siya or whatever. Kasi naman meron siyang girlfriend na medyo psycho (wag lang tatamaan, sige ka, guilty ka!) na tipong sobra kung makapagtantrums. Daig pa ang grade 1 kung sumpungin. Parang ngayon, okay tayo, tapos mamaya hindi na. Parang red ngayon, mamaya green na, tapos magagalit kasi naubusan siya ng blue na crayola. Hindi mo talaga mape-predict kung ano ang gusto niya. Which made me wonder, that even after 18, girls can really be immature sometimes, and age really don't dictate maturity.

The same twenty-something girl can marry a decent man her age. She could be responsible and industrious. But then, pwede rin namang mag-isip 15 ang babae kahit 20 na siya. So, really it's just a matter of choice on how you want to act on a certain situation. I know a 17-something girl, that is really serious about her goals in life. I know a 21-something girl, who really doesn't know what friendship is really like. And yes, I know a 20-something girl who would throw away her life for love.

This composition really is presumptuous. Saan ka ba sa kanila? I know many can relate to experience being the best teacher, but really it comes down to rational thinking, not experience. You can be in 5 relationships, but still don't know anything about love or relationships. You have experienced it, but you haven't thought of it. Wag mong sabihing marami ka nang naranasan, dahil kung hindi mo naman pinag-isipan lahat ng naranasan mo, wala rin yan. The experience is good, but the lesson is the most important element of it. Without that, you cannot possibly say that you matured enough.

You don't have to experience "mature things" to be mature. You, for yourself, should decide what is best for you. With full responsibility with your own choices, only you can call yourself mature in handling your life. But with hugging uncertainty with your own decisions, you are just surrendering your life to experience. You should experience life. Don't make experience as life itself.

My Sacred Pen and Paper

"Give me a pen, the pitcher of my emotions, and a piece of paper, the glass to pour my heart into. And I shall be in peace."
- from someone I personally knew back then


People have different reasons on why they write. Many write for their personal rehabilitation (to express what they feel,etc.), some write for their advocacy and beliefs (persuasion purposes) and few write for challenge (writing to smash old beliefs, etc.), but whatever the reason one uses when they write, they still utilize the same raw material. Yes, and that raw material is a fragment of our mind. Whenever we write, we always give out a chunk of our brain for people to talk about and argue into. Writing always involve thinking on our part, that's why it has the note of profundity whenever we read something that is written. A gift of being deep. As writers, we set out to something deep, in order for us to catch the "fishes" that has been in the ocean but wasn't caught.

Writing is not easy. In fact, it became dangerous. Here in the Philippines, journalists are being killed almost once a month for writing something. For merely sharing your thoughts in the public, people get too agitated and kill those writers. And why is that?

People are afraid of the truth. Most people would like their lives to be surrounded by lies and kept on doing the same wrong thing everyday because that is what feels good. To forsake the truth and to make something out of a lie is utterly unforgivable. They don't realize such things because of the fact that people really are too much of a sucker when it comes to comfort. As long as something feels good and at their eyes, it is good, then people would do everything at their power to stop the proliferating of the truth. They kill(or pay someone to do it),steal, cheat or threaten the people who try to stand up for the truth. And the ones who do that are the writers. Yet most people consider writing as a passive job, where it does not involve too much effort. But in contrary, it really does involve that much effort.

If you value your life, don't become a writer. Or to be precise, don't write something that would clash against someone else's beliefs. But then, I value my integrity even more, so I have decided to write everything that I feel is right on paper. I have been on the defensive for too long. This is the perfect chance to turn those tables around. I will not make people side with me. I will not beg you to understand. Nor will I ask the reason why I am being blocked on social networking sites. I will manifest the true power of my sacred pen and paper.